Rules for Co-parenting:
1. Do let the other parent know about discipline, bedtime routines, sleeping arrangements, illnesses, extracurricular activities and schedules. If possible, both parents should use similar discipline at their homes. Consistency is good for kids.
If you cannot agree on everything, your child can adapt. Children are remarkably flexible and smart. Do not comment on the other parent's "household rules". You are different and will always have different wants and needs. Support the rules at the other parent's home. Remember that your child now has two (2) homes where they live.
2. Do keep the other parent informed of any scholastic, medical, psychiatric, extracurricular activities or medical appointments for your child. Encourage the other parent to attend and participate, if possible. Children want both of their parents to be involved in all aspects of their life. Figure out ways to work together. Some people talk once a week and other people text each other. Do what works for both of you. Be flexible. There is no right or wrong way to co-parent. Let the teachers and doctors know about the other parent in case there is ever an emergency.
3. Do refer to the other parent as the child's mom or dad in conversation, rather than using the parent's first (or last) name. For example, "your dad will pick you up from school today." or "I talked to your mom and we agreed that I would take you to school today."
4. Try to make all major decisions regarding the child together after talking to each other.
This includes decisions regarding your child's educational, psychological, spiritual and physical well being and safety. Listen to the other parent. Try to be flexible. Try to work together to raise your child. Children need both parents to learn and develop emotionally.
5. Do keep the other parent informed as to your current address, work information, telephone numbers, and email address. If there is an emergency, you want the other parent to be able to contact you.
6. Do keep the other parent informed if you are unable to pick up the child at the usual time. Be courteous so that the other parent can make plans. Remember that missing your visits with your child disappoints your child. Please try to avoid cancelling visits or commitments that you've made with your child.
7. Do not talk negatively or allow others to do so in front of your child. This would include belittling remarks about the other parent (and family members), ridicules, or bring up allegations that are valid or invalid about "adult issues". For example, no child needs to hear about the other parent having an affair. No child needs to know that the other parent is "worthless" and "no good". Many courts consider this a form of child abuse.
8. Do not question your child about the other parent or use the child as a spy at the other parent's home. Again, many judges consider this a form of child abuse. Plus, judges don't take a child's comments seriously -- remember most small children still believe in the Easter bunny and Santa Claus -- so they are not reliable witnesses.
9. Do not argue or have heated discussions when the child can hear them. This includes body language too - such as rolling the eyes or making inappropriate signs. These non-verbal forms of communication are upsetting to children too.
Remember that your child is learning how to communicate with others by your example -- is this truly what you want your child to remember about you? Is this how you want your child to treat you when they grow up?
10. Do not use phrases to draw the child into your issues, or make your child feel guilty about spending time with the other parent. For example, don't say "I miss you" -- rather use "I love you."
11. Do not allow step-parents (or new relationships) to negatively alter to modify your relationship with the other parent. If this new person is hostile, then be cautious about entering into a relationship with this person -- it sounds like future trouble!
12. Do not attempt to alienate the other parent from your child's life. It took 2 of you to create this child -- it will probably take 2 of you to raise this child. Learn ways of working together even though you are now apart.
There are numerous studies that show that having both parents involved in a child's life is very helpful to raise a smart, successful adult. Please work together to raise your child.
13. Do not ask the child where he/she wants to live. The child has 2 homes now! You might want to keep a photo of the other parent by the child's bedside so your child can say good night to their other parent each evening at bedtime.
14. Do not discuss any litigation or potential litigation with your child. Keep the child out of adult "business". Judges do not like people that discuss "adult business" with children. It is a child's job to be a child. YOU are the adult & you need to act like the adult. You will be co-parenting your child for the rest of your life. It never ends. Learn ways to get along and be civil. It does get easier as time goes on. Consider counseling if you cannot figure out ways to communicate without hostility or anger.
15. Your child watches everything the parents do and is learning how to behave. You are a role model for your child. Are you setting a good example for your child? When your child grows up is this the way that you want your child to treat you? You are creating your child's future memories, how do you want your child to remember you when they grow up -- pissed off all the time, fighting or someone that cared, loved them, and made them feel safe.
16. Do not make promises to your child and then not keep them. It hurts kids and they don't forget broken promises. Don't be the parent that tries to make the other parent break their promises. Work together.
17. Do not try to buy your way into your child's heart. What a child needs most of all is YOUR TIME. Just hang out. If money is an issue, then read a book or watch television together. Go to a park and play. Or just throw a ball out in your yard.
Ask your adult friends about their childhood memories of their parents. They won't usually remember how much stuff cost but they will remember when their parents lost their temper or the best memories of their parents. I'm sure that you don't want your child to remember you as always being angry and arguing.
In summary, there are no rules in co-parenting. Be flexible. Try different things. If you cannot figure it out, then try counseling - together or alone. Remember that you are parents -- but you are also human.We all make mistakes -- be gentle when the other parent makes a mistake because next time it could be you & you want the same courtesy extended to you. In life there are often "bumps in the road" - illnesses, layoffs, accidents,broken cars, etc. Work together. Be courteous - treat the other parent like you would any stranger you met on the street. In the long run, your child will benefit by your good behavior. Children are very smart and intuitive. They know what's going on around them.
Your child is learning how to be a parent by everything you do NOW!
Monday, January 6, 2014
Rules kids would make for their separated parents -- if they could
If children could make rules for their parents to follow, I suspect that it would include the following:
1. Keep me out of "adult stuff".
I don't need to hear bad things about the other parent and/or their family members.
I don't want to hear that my other parent had an affair or caused the break-up of our family.
It hurts me to hear these things.
I don't care if I'm an adult, I still don't want to hear about how bad my other parent was in the past. I love you both. I don't need to know this bad stuff about the other parent. I already know it -- but I don't want to hear it come out of your mouth!
2. I don't want to hear you say bad things about my other parent.
It hurts me when you talk badly about my other parent.
I love both of you.
I'm 50% of both of you -- when you talk bad about my other parent then you are also saying that I'm 50% bad.
Please stop rolling your eyes and other body language when I bring up the other parent.
It hurts me.
3. Don't make me feel bad for loving my other parent.
It took 2 people to create me.
YOU chose my other parent to be my parent.
So what does it show about you if you hooked up with such a bad person.
I love both of you.
It hurts me when you try to make me feel guilty.
I don't care if the other parent is a "bad" person or had an affair.
4. Please get along.
I want both of you to participate in my life.
Why cannot you behave at public events (games, plays, birthdays & graduation)?
You are embarrassing me by your outbursts and yelling at each other.
Please be civil.
You don't have to sit next to each other -- but don't make a "scene" & embarrass me in front of my friends.
I love you both and want you both there.
5. Don't make me choose sides.
This is a form of child abuse.
I hate being put in the middle.
I love you both.
6. No fighting in front of me.
I get physically and emotionally upset with you fight in front of me.
I hate it.
Please stop it.
I love you both.
7. Don't make me a messenger or put me in the middle.
I'm a kid -- I cannot remember all this "adult stuff" you want to tell my other parent.
I cannot remember it all.
Please talk directly to the other parent.
8. Don't share or take your anger out on me.
When you are mad at the other parent, I hate it when you yell at me because you are upset.
This is not fair to me.
Please let me be a kid.
9. Don't ask me to spy.
I hate it when you ask me a bunch of questions about my other parent.
I stresses me out.
I just want to be a kid.
I love you both - don't put me in the middle.
It's like a quiz that I cannot pass.
10. Give me one-on-one time with both parents.
I want to spend time with both of my parents.
Let me text or Skype my other parent without interfering.
I don't love you less because I want to talk to my other parent.
I love you both.
Please let me be a kid and love you both.
You both created me -- together.
No you are apart -- but I still love you both!
1. Keep me out of "adult stuff".
I don't need to hear bad things about the other parent and/or their family members.
I don't want to hear that my other parent had an affair or caused the break-up of our family.
It hurts me to hear these things.
I don't care if I'm an adult, I still don't want to hear about how bad my other parent was in the past. I love you both. I don't need to know this bad stuff about the other parent. I already know it -- but I don't want to hear it come out of your mouth!
2. I don't want to hear you say bad things about my other parent.
It hurts me when you talk badly about my other parent.
I love both of you.
I'm 50% of both of you -- when you talk bad about my other parent then you are also saying that I'm 50% bad.
Please stop rolling your eyes and other body language when I bring up the other parent.
It hurts me.
3. Don't make me feel bad for loving my other parent.
It took 2 people to create me.
YOU chose my other parent to be my parent.
So what does it show about you if you hooked up with such a bad person.
I love both of you.
It hurts me when you try to make me feel guilty.
I don't care if the other parent is a "bad" person or had an affair.
4. Please get along.
I want both of you to participate in my life.
Why cannot you behave at public events (games, plays, birthdays & graduation)?
You are embarrassing me by your outbursts and yelling at each other.
Please be civil.
You don't have to sit next to each other -- but don't make a "scene" & embarrass me in front of my friends.
I love you both and want you both there.
5. Don't make me choose sides.
This is a form of child abuse.
I hate being put in the middle.
I love you both.
6. No fighting in front of me.
I get physically and emotionally upset with you fight in front of me.
I hate it.
Please stop it.
I love you both.
7. Don't make me a messenger or put me in the middle.
I'm a kid -- I cannot remember all this "adult stuff" you want to tell my other parent.
I cannot remember it all.
Please talk directly to the other parent.
8. Don't share or take your anger out on me.
When you are mad at the other parent, I hate it when you yell at me because you are upset.
This is not fair to me.
Please let me be a kid.
9. Don't ask me to spy.
I hate it when you ask me a bunch of questions about my other parent.
I stresses me out.
I just want to be a kid.
I love you both - don't put me in the middle.
It's like a quiz that I cannot pass.
10. Give me one-on-one time with both parents.
I want to spend time with both of my parents.
Let me text or Skype my other parent without interfering.
I don't love you less because I want to talk to my other parent.
I love you both.
Please let me be a kid and love you both.
You both created me -- together.
No you are apart -- but I still love you both!
A Child's Bill of Rights
We hold these truths to be self-evident that all children in the United States are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights among which are the right to life, happiness, and the security of frequent contact & love by both of their parents regardless of their parent's marital status.
Article 1. All children have the right to, openly and without fear of any kind, be able to express their love and affection for both their parents equally.
Article 2. All children have the right to never be blamed in any way for their parent's divorce or separation.
Article 3. All children have the right to feel secure and loved by both parents and to be cared for properly both emotionally and financially.
Article 4. All children have the right to be listed to and accepted as a child with feelings and needs.
Article 5. All children have the right to be informed of important decisions affecting them and why those decisions were made in an age-appropriate manner.
Article 6. All children have the right to never be placed in the awkward position of having to choose between either of their parents or to be made to take sides for or against either parent.
Article 7. All children have the right to be able to heal properly, without undue stress and suffering from the hurt, pain and anger that often accompanies a divorce or separation of their parents.
Article 8. All children have the right to be properly educated about divorce and separation to help understand that their parents are human too and that the adults are also experiencing personal hurt, anger and pain regarding a divorce or separation.
Article 9. All children have the right to remain active in both of their parent's lives and to have as much physical and emotional contact with each parent as reasonably possible.
Article 10. All children have the right to be loved by both of their parents unconditionally.
Article 1. All children have the right to, openly and without fear of any kind, be able to express their love and affection for both their parents equally.
Article 2. All children have the right to never be blamed in any way for their parent's divorce or separation.
Article 3. All children have the right to feel secure and loved by both parents and to be cared for properly both emotionally and financially.
Article 4. All children have the right to be listed to and accepted as a child with feelings and needs.
Article 5. All children have the right to be informed of important decisions affecting them and why those decisions were made in an age-appropriate manner.
Article 6. All children have the right to never be placed in the awkward position of having to choose between either of their parents or to be made to take sides for or against either parent.
Article 7. All children have the right to be able to heal properly, without undue stress and suffering from the hurt, pain and anger that often accompanies a divorce or separation of their parents.
Article 8. All children have the right to be properly educated about divorce and separation to help understand that their parents are human too and that the adults are also experiencing personal hurt, anger and pain regarding a divorce or separation.
Article 9. All children have the right to remain active in both of their parent's lives and to have as much physical and emotional contact with each parent as reasonably possible.
Article 10. All children have the right to be loved by both of their parents unconditionally.
Common mutual injunctions used in family courts
Below are some common mutual injunctions that family courts will issue in cases.
Be aware that these are just some of the injunctions used - there are many more.
A family court judge can enjoin the parties before him/her from anything that the judge deems important.
Each party shall be enjoined, until further Court order, from engaging in any of the following conduct:
Disturbing the peace of the children named herein.
Removing the children named herein beyond the jurisdiction of the Court acting directly or in concert with others.
Disrupting or withdrawing the children from the school or daycare facility where the children are presently enrolled.
Initiating any discussions with the children concerning any aspect of this pending litigation.
Discussing any aspect of the lawsuit with others in the presence of the children.
Making any disparaging remarks about the other parent, the current spouse of the other parent, or other family members of the other parent in the presence of the children.
Allowing the children to remain in the presence of any other person(s) making disparaging remarks about the other parent, the current spouse of the other parent, or other family members of the other parent.
Communicating with the other parent by telephone or in writing in a vulgar, profane, obscene, or indecent language, or in a coarse or offensive manner.
Threatening the other parent, by telephone or in writing, to take unlawful action against any person.
Placing one or more telephone calls, anonymously, at an unreasonable hour, in an offensive and repetitious manner, or without a legitimate purpose of communication.
Causing bodily injury to the other parent or to the children.
Threatening the other or a child with imminent bodily injury.
Destroying, removing, concealing, encumbering, transferring or otherwise harming or reducing the value of the property of one or both of the parties.
Falsify8ng any writing or recording relating to the property of either of the parties.
Opening or diverting mail addressed to the other party.
Entering, operating or exercising control over the motor vehicle in the possession of the other party.
Taking any action to terminate or limit credit or charge cards in the name of the other party.
Signing or endorsing the other party's name on any negotiable instrument, check, or draft, such as tax refunds, insurance payments, dividends, or attempting to negotiate any negotiable instrument payable to the other party, without the personal signature of the other party.
Terminating or in any manner affecting the services of water, electricity, gas, telephone, cable television, or other contractual services, such as security, pest control, landscaping or yard maintenance, at the other party's residence or in any manner attempting to withdraw any deposits for service in connection with those services.
Incurring any indebtedness, other than legal expenses in connection with this suit, except as specifically authorized by order of this Court.
Be aware that these are just some of the injunctions used - there are many more.
A family court judge can enjoin the parties before him/her from anything that the judge deems important.
Each party shall be enjoined, until further Court order, from engaging in any of the following conduct:
Disturbing the peace of the children named herein.
Removing the children named herein beyond the jurisdiction of the Court acting directly or in concert with others.
Disrupting or withdrawing the children from the school or daycare facility where the children are presently enrolled.
Initiating any discussions with the children concerning any aspect of this pending litigation.
Discussing any aspect of the lawsuit with others in the presence of the children.
Making any disparaging remarks about the other parent, the current spouse of the other parent, or other family members of the other parent in the presence of the children.
Allowing the children to remain in the presence of any other person(s) making disparaging remarks about the other parent, the current spouse of the other parent, or other family members of the other parent.
Communicating with the other parent by telephone or in writing in a vulgar, profane, obscene, or indecent language, or in a coarse or offensive manner.
Threatening the other parent, by telephone or in writing, to take unlawful action against any person.
Placing one or more telephone calls, anonymously, at an unreasonable hour, in an offensive and repetitious manner, or without a legitimate purpose of communication.
Causing bodily injury to the other parent or to the children.
Threatening the other or a child with imminent bodily injury.
Destroying, removing, concealing, encumbering, transferring or otherwise harming or reducing the value of the property of one or both of the parties.
Falsify8ng any writing or recording relating to the property of either of the parties.
Opening or diverting mail addressed to the other party.
Entering, operating or exercising control over the motor vehicle in the possession of the other party.
Taking any action to terminate or limit credit or charge cards in the name of the other party.
Signing or endorsing the other party's name on any negotiable instrument, check, or draft, such as tax refunds, insurance payments, dividends, or attempting to negotiate any negotiable instrument payable to the other party, without the personal signature of the other party.
Terminating or in any manner affecting the services of water, electricity, gas, telephone, cable television, or other contractual services, such as security, pest control, landscaping or yard maintenance, at the other party's residence or in any manner attempting to withdraw any deposits for service in connection with those services.
Incurring any indebtedness, other than legal expenses in connection with this suit, except as specifically authorized by order of this Court.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Name changes for minor children
If you want to change your child's name, both parents must agree to changing the child's name.
A legal document called a Petition must be filed at the courthouse requesting that a judge change the child's name.
The judge will sign a document called an Order that officially changes the child's name permanently.
After the judge signs this document, there is more that you need to do to get a new birth certificate. You then contact the Bureau of Vital Statistics for a new birth certificate.
The cost to do this varies. The filing with with the county is approximately $300. If both parents are willing to sign all the papers then that will save you money. If the other parent will not sign the paperwork to approve the child's name change then the parent needs to be served with the Petition that was filed at the courthouse opening the file. This can cost approximately $100.
Once the other parent is served with the legal papers by a process server then they have a certain amount of time to file a legal document at the courthouse called an Answer. A parent would normally object to the name change in the Answer. You now have a contested case.
It is up to the judge whether or not the judge will grant a child's name change.
If there has been a case involving this child before, you will be assigned to the same judge again.
If the father objects and is active in the child's life then many judges will not do a name change.
So I highly recommend that you talk to the other parent before beginning this process.
You must have very good reasons to change a child's name. Generally in Harris County most family court judges do not like to grant these name changes unless there is a very compelling reason. But if both parents approve of the name change then the judge will sign the paperwork.
You then take the Order signed by the Judge and ask the Bureau of Vital Statistics in Austin to issue a new birth certificate with the new name. To get a new birth certificate can take up to 6 months and costs approximately $65. You must fill out all of the required paperwork from the BVS Office in order for them to issue a new birth certificate.
You can attempt to do this yourself. It is not easy. You might be able to find the forms at the Harris County Law Library. You would take the master form and fill it out. You would need to re-type the master form that you find so that it applies to your case. You will need a Petition and an Order at the minimum. Both parents need to sign at the bottom of the Order acknowledging that they want the name change.
If the parents don't agree then it is a contested case and there will be a trial in front of the judge. Both of you will have to put on evidence. If it is contested I strongly encourage you to hire an attorney.
You do not automatically get a hearing in front of the judge. Normally you have to ask for one. You will need to talk to the judge's head clerk to get a date for a hearing to see the judge. Judges calendars are very busy and you might have to wait several weeks to get a court date.
I encourage people to hire a family law attorney to assist them with name changes. They can be tricky.
Most attorneys charge at least $1,000 - $1,500 for these type of cases if uncontested. They can take a time of attorney time. If contested and there is going to be a hearing, then you need to anticipate spending a lot more than $1,500 - attorneys charge a lot for trials.
I hope this blog post has been helpful.
Good luck!
A legal document called a Petition must be filed at the courthouse requesting that a judge change the child's name.
The judge will sign a document called an Order that officially changes the child's name permanently.
After the judge signs this document, there is more that you need to do to get a new birth certificate. You then contact the Bureau of Vital Statistics for a new birth certificate.
The cost to do this varies. The filing with with the county is approximately $300. If both parents are willing to sign all the papers then that will save you money. If the other parent will not sign the paperwork to approve the child's name change then the parent needs to be served with the Petition that was filed at the courthouse opening the file. This can cost approximately $100.
Once the other parent is served with the legal papers by a process server then they have a certain amount of time to file a legal document at the courthouse called an Answer. A parent would normally object to the name change in the Answer. You now have a contested case.
It is up to the judge whether or not the judge will grant a child's name change.
If there has been a case involving this child before, you will be assigned to the same judge again.
If the father objects and is active in the child's life then many judges will not do a name change.
So I highly recommend that you talk to the other parent before beginning this process.
You must have very good reasons to change a child's name. Generally in Harris County most family court judges do not like to grant these name changes unless there is a very compelling reason. But if both parents approve of the name change then the judge will sign the paperwork.
You then take the Order signed by the Judge and ask the Bureau of Vital Statistics in Austin to issue a new birth certificate with the new name. To get a new birth certificate can take up to 6 months and costs approximately $65. You must fill out all of the required paperwork from the BVS Office in order for them to issue a new birth certificate.
You can attempt to do this yourself. It is not easy. You might be able to find the forms at the Harris County Law Library. You would take the master form and fill it out. You would need to re-type the master form that you find so that it applies to your case. You will need a Petition and an Order at the minimum. Both parents need to sign at the bottom of the Order acknowledging that they want the name change.
If the parents don't agree then it is a contested case and there will be a trial in front of the judge. Both of you will have to put on evidence. If it is contested I strongly encourage you to hire an attorney.
You do not automatically get a hearing in front of the judge. Normally you have to ask for one. You will need to talk to the judge's head clerk to get a date for a hearing to see the judge. Judges calendars are very busy and you might have to wait several weeks to get a court date.
I encourage people to hire a family law attorney to assist them with name changes. They can be tricky.
Most attorneys charge at least $1,000 - $1,500 for these type of cases if uncontested. They can take a time of attorney time. If contested and there is going to be a hearing, then you need to anticipate spending a lot more than $1,500 - attorneys charge a lot for trials.
I hope this blog post has been helpful.
Good luck!
Ordering New Birth Certificate in Texas after an adoption
After the judge has signed the paperwork approving an adoption, you will need to get the child a new birth certificate. This takes quite long time. I've heard that it is taking as long as 6 months. So be patient.
Eventually the clerk of the court will send in paperwork to Austin, Texas Bureau of Vital Statistics. This can take up to 6 weeks since the clerks wait until they have a large stack and the forms all get mailed to Austin at one time. You have no control over how the judge's clerks handle their correspondence with BVS.
You can get a certified copy of your decree signed by the judge. It costs approximately $1 per page for a certified copy. Again, it takes awhile for the papers to be scanned into the Harris County Clerk's computer. You usually cannot get the paperwork the day that you get the adoption finalized - but sometimes you can - you just never know. If you are in a county outside of Harris County, each county handles certified copies differently. You will need to talk to judge's clerk or an employee of the district clerk's office to find out how to get a certified copy.
Fill out the proper forms off the Bureau of Vital Statistics website. Send the certified copy of the court order along with $62. Their mailing address is P O Box 12040, Austin, TX 78711.
If you have any questions, you can call the BVS office in Austin. Hopefully they can help you. When I have called them in the past they have been very helpful.
Eventually the clerk of the court will send in paperwork to Austin, Texas Bureau of Vital Statistics. This can take up to 6 weeks since the clerks wait until they have a large stack and the forms all get mailed to Austin at one time. You have no control over how the judge's clerks handle their correspondence with BVS.
You can get a certified copy of your decree signed by the judge. It costs approximately $1 per page for a certified copy. Again, it takes awhile for the papers to be scanned into the Harris County Clerk's computer. You usually cannot get the paperwork the day that you get the adoption finalized - but sometimes you can - you just never know. If you are in a county outside of Harris County, each county handles certified copies differently. You will need to talk to judge's clerk or an employee of the district clerk's office to find out how to get a certified copy.
Fill out the proper forms off the Bureau of Vital Statistics website. Send the certified copy of the court order along with $62. Their mailing address is P O Box 12040, Austin, TX 78711.
If you have any questions, you can call the BVS office in Austin. Hopefully they can help you. When I have called them in the past they have been very helpful.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Houston Pro Bono (free) Attorney Clinics
Houston Pro Bono Centers
Whether your case relates to adoption, custody, divorce, support, domestic abuse or special education matters, there are people that can help for free (pro bono).
Houston is home to several pro bono clinics, for those who are in need of free legal services.
Check out these Houston pro bono centers:
Aid to Victims Legal Services
1001 Texas Avenue, Houston, Texas 77002 (713) 224-9911
http://avda-tx.org/v2/
1001 Texas Avenue, Houston, Texas 77002 (713) 224-9911
http://avda-tx.org/v2/
Lone Star Legal Aid1415 Fannin Street, Houston, Texas 77002 (713) 652-0077
http://www.lonestarlegal.org/
http://www.lonestarlegal.org/
Houston Volunteer Lawyers 712 Main Street, Houston, Texas 77002 (713) 228-0732
http://www.hvlp.org
http://www.hvlp.org
University of Houston Law Center100 Law Center, Houston, Texas 77002 (713) 743-2100 http://www.law.uh.edu/clinic/
Southeast Texas Legal Clinic
3400 Montrose Blvd Ste 400, Houston, Texas 77006 (713) 523-7852
3400 Montrose Blvd Ste 400, Houston, Texas 77006 (713) 523-7852
Legal Advocacy and Outreach
405 Main Street, Suite 911, Houston, Texas 77002 (713) 224-9911
405 Main Street, Suite 911, Houston, Texas 77002 (713) 224-9911
Thursday, November 21, 2013
I can tell that the holiday season is almost here!
I can always tell when the holidays are almost here!
No it's not the cooler weather...it's the number of frantic phone calls for people wanting to see their children for the upcoming holidays & the other parent won't cooperate.
How sad for the children...
Around November 15th, I start receiving lots of phone calls from desperate people that are having problems arranging their Thanksgiving and/or Christmas vacation time with their children and the number of questions asked on free sites jumps up dramatically!
Each of these people think that they are the ONLY people on the planet with these problems.
They need help right now! They are desperate! They expect to see a judge NOW!
Ah the holidays! When children of parents no longer together get to see their parents behaving badly. When the police get called out to homes and many parents get arrested for assaulting the other parent! It brings out the worst in many parents! Again, how sad for the children.
Unfortunately, the courts close down for the holidays and the judges go home to spend time with their families. So it is impossible to get an "emergency hearing" in front of a judge if you cannot arrange to see your child for the holidays at the last minute.
If you have been having problems with the other parent for months, then you need to document this very carefully and plan on hiring an attorney. You will probably get a hearing in January or February and you will get make-up visits. The other parent might be punished by having to pay your legal fees and/or jail time.
Of course, you might consider asking for custody of the children. But you need to document, document, document. You need to build a strong, solid case -- not just one violation but a series of violations -- the more the better. Hire a tough, smart family law attorney to help you - then sit back and follow your attorney's advice. It will probably take months -- but it's worth it.
As a mediator, I am always willing to try to resolve these matters...but I cannot force the other parent to participate in mediation!
Many people call me & somehow think that I have some "magic fairy dust" that will suddenly make the other parent a reasonable and caring parent. I don't. If I did...I could sell it for a lot of money and be very, very wealthy!
I always encourage mediation before litigation...but you cannot force a person to cooperate.
Happy Holidays!
Please be reasonable! Think of your kids! They are watching you!
No it's not the cooler weather...it's the number of frantic phone calls for people wanting to see their children for the upcoming holidays & the other parent won't cooperate.
How sad for the children...
Around November 15th, I start receiving lots of phone calls from desperate people that are having problems arranging their Thanksgiving and/or Christmas vacation time with their children and the number of questions asked on free sites jumps up dramatically!
Each of these people think that they are the ONLY people on the planet with these problems.
They need help right now! They are desperate! They expect to see a judge NOW!
Ah the holidays! When children of parents no longer together get to see their parents behaving badly. When the police get called out to homes and many parents get arrested for assaulting the other parent! It brings out the worst in many parents! Again, how sad for the children.
Unfortunately, the courts close down for the holidays and the judges go home to spend time with their families. So it is impossible to get an "emergency hearing" in front of a judge if you cannot arrange to see your child for the holidays at the last minute.
If you have been having problems with the other parent for months, then you need to document this very carefully and plan on hiring an attorney. You will probably get a hearing in January or February and you will get make-up visits. The other parent might be punished by having to pay your legal fees and/or jail time.
Of course, you might consider asking for custody of the children. But you need to document, document, document. You need to build a strong, solid case -- not just one violation but a series of violations -- the more the better. Hire a tough, smart family law attorney to help you - then sit back and follow your attorney's advice. It will probably take months -- but it's worth it.
As a mediator, I am always willing to try to resolve these matters...but I cannot force the other parent to participate in mediation!
Many people call me & somehow think that I have some "magic fairy dust" that will suddenly make the other parent a reasonable and caring parent. I don't. If I did...I could sell it for a lot of money and be very, very wealthy!
I always encourage mediation before litigation...but you cannot force a person to cooperate.
Happy Holidays!
Please be reasonable! Think of your kids! They are watching you!
Monday, November 11, 2013
Harris County Law Library Information
The Harris County Law Library is now located at 1019 Congress Street on the first floor of the building. It is in the building where people when when they were called for jury duty. Their phone number is 755-5183. They are open Monday through Friday from 8 am - 7 pm.
They have free wifi, e-filing service, and computers for everyone's use.
There is a privately owned company, ServiceDocs Inc. that runs a full reprographic services company in the Law Library. They provide notary services for a fee. Black and white copies cost 10 cents per copy. If you want color copies, then it costs 50 cents per copy.
There is also a privately owned coffee shop with light snacks, The Congress Cafe, located in the lobby of the Law Library.
There are 5 computers with free access to WestlawNext for legal research databases and LexisNexis Shephard's Citations. HeinOnline including hundreds of journals and law reviews. IntelliConnect legal research databases. RIA's CheckPoint databases, including federal and state tax resources and Harris County Law Library's Online Public Access Catalog.
Anyone with a Harris County Public Library Card can check out books that they have reserved from the Harris County Public Library at this location. Any books that have been checked out can be returned at this location.
But the books belonging to the Harris County Law Library cannot be checked out by anyone. Everyone is free to use books belonging to the Harris County Law Library but none of their books are able to be removed from the Law Library.
Apparently since they moved into this new location, the Harris County Law Library has seen an increase in people coming into the library of over 60%.
They have free wifi, e-filing service, and computers for everyone's use.
There is a privately owned company, ServiceDocs Inc. that runs a full reprographic services company in the Law Library. They provide notary services for a fee. Black and white copies cost 10 cents per copy. If you want color copies, then it costs 50 cents per copy.
There is also a privately owned coffee shop with light snacks, The Congress Cafe, located in the lobby of the Law Library.
There are 5 computers with free access to WestlawNext for legal research databases and LexisNexis Shephard's Citations. HeinOnline including hundreds of journals and law reviews. IntelliConnect legal research databases. RIA's CheckPoint databases, including federal and state tax resources and Harris County Law Library's Online Public Access Catalog.
Anyone with a Harris County Public Library Card can check out books that they have reserved from the Harris County Public Library at this location. Any books that have been checked out can be returned at this location.
But the books belonging to the Harris County Law Library cannot be checked out by anyone. Everyone is free to use books belonging to the Harris County Law Library but none of their books are able to be removed from the Law Library.
Apparently since they moved into this new location, the Harris County Law Library has seen an increase in people coming into the library of over 60%.
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