Tuesday, October 27, 2015

9 things to consider when hiring a family law (divorce) mediator

There are many people that advertise on the internet as mediators.

No one "licenses" mediators. Therefore, anyone can call themselves a mediator.
So do your research before hiring a mediator.

Anyone that has completed the basic 40 hour mediation training can call themselves a "certified mediator" since they received a "certificate" when they completed this basic course.

I take approximately 25 hours each year in Texas family law and another 25 hours in mediation training.

So...would you hire a 16 year old that just received their driver's license to drive your car or would you want someone that has extensive training and years of experience to borrow your car?

This is what I look for when I personally need to hire a mediator:

1. Knowledge of the laws of the state that I live in.

Many mediators are former attorneys.

A person does not have to be an attorney to be a mediator.

However, it's important to pick someone that understands current laws in your state.  It's time consuming and difficult to keep current on state laws.  I suggest that you hire someone that has current up-to-date information on your area of conflict.

2. Someone that is familiar with the judge and how the judge usually rules.  The Texas Family Code is used throughout the State of Texas -- but each judge is different and has a lot of latitude in their interpretation of Texas laws. So what works in East Texas probably won't work in Harris County.  So know your judge!

Even though the mediator does not give legal advice or make decisions for you, they should be there to offer you "common sense" advice and "reality test" the issues that the parties are discussing.

I've seen many people offer to pick the kids up on Friday at 6 pm but they don't get off work until 7 pm - there is no way that is going to work and the parties need to discuss these decisions before entering into unworkable arrangements.

Some mediators just write down whatever the parties say and no one takes the time to actually think about how the family is going to function AFTER this matter is finalized.

3.  Someone what is not "afraid" of issues regarding potential domestic violence.

I see a lot of mediators that will not touch any case where there might be a sliver (or potential) of physical or verbal abuse.  Unfortunately, abuse and possible abuse is the reality of the practice of family law.

Hire someone that has taken advanced training in domestic violence and conflict resolution.

I mediate cases where there is a protective order in place -- but I take pre-cautions and have the parties arrive and leave at different times.  They are never allowed to interact with each other at the mediation.  I keep the parties separated.

Don't assume that a mediator will automatically do this - many mediators always have the parties in the same room and that might not be appropriate for your case.

4. Someone that does not want to "deal" with "feelings" of the parties.

Every relationship that ends has hurt feelings involved. Anger, fear, panic, retaliation occurs in family law cases - it's something that might need to be addressed.

How can a person make major life decisions unless their fears (or concerns) have been addressed?

Some mediators are "lazy" and only want the easy cases.  They don't like people getting vocal or difficult to deal with -- I don't use these type of mediators.

5. Price - a mediator can charge whatever they want to charge.  So shop around for pricing.  Prices can vary from free (Dispute Resolution Center) to over $2,5000 per side for an 8 hour mediation.

6. Location - Pick a location convenient for everyone. Harris County is huge and you could select a mediator over an hour away from you - so look before you book.

7. Availability - Mediators pick their own schedules.  Some will only do one mediation per day. Others only work at their mediation practice on a part-time basis.

Some mediators do 3 mediations per day - that limits you to a short 4 hour session.  If you don't finish then you will need to pay for and schedule a second session.

8. Flexibility - Each mediator is different.  Some are more flexible than others.  So look around before booking a mediator.

9. Involvement - some mediators just write down what you agreed to do.

If they are not an attorney, then they will not file the Mediated Settlement Agreement with the court.

The burden falls upon you to do so.  If it's not entered at the courthouse then the value is limited.  If the judge is unaware a Mediated Settlement Agreement has been signed then it's worthless.

Also, a Mediated Settlement Agreement needs to contain certain "magic" words.  I've seen some mediators that are new forget these essential words - if not done then it's revokable.

In summary, select your mediator carefully.


Thursday, October 22, 2015

New TX Family laws now include electronic communication

Effective /1/15 expands the scope of prohibited actions that may be contained in a temporary restraining order granted during a Texas divorce proceeding. 
The list of prohibited actions will now include prohibiting parties from communicating and threatening each other via electronic voice transmission, video chat, or electronic messaging such as email, social media, etc. 
The definition of property now includes intellectual property and electronically stored or recorded information.
Once a divorce is filed and these orders are put in place, divorcing parties are prohibited from cussing each other out in email, opening the other spouse’s email and reading it, forwarding the other spouse’s email to anyone, deleting any email or other electronic evidence, using the password of the other spouse to access any electronic information, and/or deleting anything off of social media.
COMMON SENSE ADVICE - Don't post anything on social media that you don't want the judge to read! Basically, stay off social media entirely! And, if you post beware that even if you delete it is information that can be shown to the judge.  Judges don't like people that post "nasty" things on social media. 
So, here is the "basic" list of the usual things to avoid doing -- effective 9/1/15. 
(1) intentionally communicating in person or in any other manner, including by telephone or another electronic voice transmission, video chat, in writing, or electronic messaging, with the other party by use of vulgar, profane, obscene, or indecent language or in a coarse or offensive manner, with intent to annoy or alarm the other party;
(2) threatening the other party in person or in any other manner, including by telephone or another electronic voice transmission, video chat, in writing, or electronic messaging, to take unlawful action against any person, intending by this action to annoy or alarm the other party;
(3) placing a telephone call, anonymously, at an unreasonable hour, in an offensive and repetitious manner, or without a legitimate purpose of communication with the intent to annoy or alarm the other party;
(4) intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly causing bodily injury to the other party or to a child of either party;
(5) threatening the other party or a child of either party with imminent bodily injury;
(6) intentionally, knowingly, or recklessly destroying, removing, concealing, encumbering, transferring, or otherwise harming or reducing the value of the property of the parties or either party with intent to obstruct the authority of the court to order a division of the estate of the parties in a manner that the court deems just and right, having due regard for the rights of each party and any children of the marriage;
(7) intentionally falsifying a writing or record, including an electronic record, relating to the property of either party;
(8) intentionally misrepresenting or refusing to disclose to the other party or to the court, on proper request, the existence, amount, or location of any tangible or intellectual property of the parties or either party, including electronically stored or recorded information;
(9) intentionally or knowingly damaging or destroying the tangible or intellectual property of the parties or either party, including electronically stored or recorded information;
(10) intentionally or knowingly tampering with the tangible or intellectual property of the parties or either party, including electronically stored or recorded information, and causing pecuniary loss or substantial inconvenience to the other party;
(11) except as specifically authorized by the court:
(A) selling, transferring, assigning, mortgaging, encumbering, or in any other manner alienating any of the property of the parties or either party, regardless of whether the property is:
(i) personal property, real property, or intellectual property; or
(ii) separate or community property;
(B) incurring any debt, other than legal expenses in connection with the suit for dissolution of marriage;
(C) withdrawing money from any checking or savings account in a financial institution for any purpose;
(D) spending any money in either party’s possession or subject to either party’s control for any purpose;
(E) withdrawing or borrowing money in any manner for any purpose from a retirement, profit sharing, pension, death, or other employee benefit plan, employee savings plan, individual retirement account, or Keogh account of either party; or
(F) withdrawing or borrowing in any manner all or any part of the cash surrender value of a life insurance policy on the life of either party or a child of the parties;
(12) entering any safe deposit box in the name of or subject to the control of the parties or either party, whether individually or jointly with others;
(13) changing or in any manner altering the beneficiary designation on any life insurance policy on the life of either party or a child of the parties;
(14) canceling, altering, failing to renew or pay premiums on, or in any manner affecting the level of coverage that existed at the time the suit was filed of, any life, casualty, automobile, or health insurance policy insuring the parties’ property or persons, including a child of the parties;
(15) opening or diverting mail or e-mail or any other electronic communication addressed to the other party;
(16) signing or endorsing the other party’s name on any negotiable instrument, check, or draft, including a tax refund, insurance payment, and dividend, or attempting to negotiate any negotiable instrument payable to the other party without the personal signature of the other party;
(17) taking any action to terminate or limit credit or charge credit cards in the name of the other party;
(18) discontinuing or reducing the withholding for federal income taxes from either party’s wages or salary;
(19) destroying, disposing of, or altering any financial records of the parties, including a canceled check, deposit slip, and other records from a financial institution, a record of credit purchases or cash advances, a tax return, and a financial statement;
(20) destroying, disposing of, or altering any e-mail, text message, video message, or chat message or other electronic data or electronically stored information relevant to the subject matter of the suit for dissolution of marriage, regardless of whether the information is stored on a hard drive, in a removable storage device, in cloud storage, or in another electronic storage medium;
(21) modifying, changing, or altering the native format or metadata of any electronic data or electronically stored information relevant to the subject matter of the suit for dissolution of marriage, regardless of whether the information is stored on a hard drive, in a removable storage device, in cloud storage, or in another electronic storage medium;
(22) deleting any data or content from any social network profile used or created by either party or a child of the parties;
(23) using any password or personal identification number to gain access to the other party’s e-mail account, bank account, social media account, or any other electronic account;
(24) terminating or in any manner affecting the service of water, electricity, gas, telephone, cable television, or any other contractual service, including security, pest control, landscaping, or yard maintenance at the residence of either party, or in any manner attempting to withdraw any deposit paid in connection with any of those services;
(25) excluding the other party from the use and enjoyment of a specifically identified residence of the other party; or
(26) entering, operating, or exercising control over a motor vehicle in the possession of the other party.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

www.CountyOffice.org


www.CountyOffice.org

FIND GOVERNMENT OFFICES IN YOUR COUNTY

CountyOffice.org is an internet database of county government offices in the United States. 

Use this site to locate your county assessor, board of elections, chamber of commerce, child support offices, colleges, coroner, courts, and much more, with all relevant details.

Texas websites for info on family law and divorce in Texas


http://www.divorcenet.com/states/texas - lots of resources about family law in Texas


http://www.annuity.org/divorce/ - a short informational guide about splitting financial assets, like annuities, during a divorce


http://www.divorce360.com/ - a more general website about divorce with many articles, blog posts and a community forum


www.texaslawhelp.org - all forms on this site have been approved by the Supreme Court of Texas and judges must accept the form if properly filled out.  Also, a lot of excellent information for Texas residents on many topics.