Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Adult Adoptees

Read my blog post of 9/2/2013 for more adult adoptee information!

Go to bottom of this page to see a bunch of websites to begin your search...

I opened my own adoption records over 13 years ago when my oncologist insisted I get my medical history when I learned I had breast cancer.

I have moved and I cannot find my file on everything I did - I keep hoping it will turn up but it's been 2 years and still missing - very frustrating!

If you were born in Texas, go the to State of Texas Department of State Health Services on-line. You can order a non-certified copy of your original birth certificate for around $10.

You can also call the Texas Department of State Health Services - they were very nice to me.

There was an adult adoptee location service that I used. Unfortunately, it did not connect me with my half-sister that was looking for me -- we were very close but both of us had some incorrect info so the agency did not match us.

There are many adult adoptee sites on the internet.  Some people have learned ways to find out info or people that will amaze you.

You can hire a skip-trace person to help you find "missing" people. If you find one with a lot of experience they won't tell you how they do it but they can find people -- even ones that are trying to hide. With the internet today it's hard to go off the radar.

Don't expect a lot of info in your adoption file. My file was very thin and did not contain a lot of information. Also, my birth parents lied a lot -- so a lot of the info was wrong! The man listed as bio dad was not bio dad -- so be prepared for anything!

I hope this information is helpful.

Be aware that some Texas judges will not open your sealed adoption file.

If you were adopted through an agency, there is a website to contact - even if the agency has gone out of business.

Being an adult adoptee is a journey filled with many twists and turns.  I encourage you to talk to people that have been in your shoes. Just because it worked for me does not mean that what I did will work for you - be creative and patient.  Good luck on your journey!






I "googled" Texas Adult Adoptee and here is what I found:

Warning: I have no idea who these groups are & have not visited every site listed. 

You need to try different search engines (yahoo, bing, google, etc. because each might be different.)

But I receive at least 2 calls a month from people just beginning their journey and this will be a good place to begin your searches.









  1. Adoption and Adult Adoptee Information - Texas Department ...

    https://www.dshs.state.tx.us/.../...

    Texas Department of State Health Services
    Oct 8, 2013 - General Information about adoption in Texas. ... processing time. Adult Adoptee Application for Non-Certified Copy of Original Birth Certificate.
  2. The Adoption Revolution Led by Adoptees Searching on the ...

    www.openadoption.org/bbetzen/adoptee.htm
    Here in Texas we have the Texas Coalition for Adoption Resources and Education ... Our first goal is to give adult adoptees a legal right to have a copy of their ...
  3. Resources for Adult Adoptees | Adoptionsbygladney

    adoptionsbygladney.com/.../resources-...

    The Gladney Center for Adoption
    Sep 24, 2011 - ... Your Page Too. On this page you will find resources of interest toadult adoptees: ... 6300 John Ryan Drive | Fort Worth, Texas 76132-4122.


  4. www.texaslawhelp.org is a free site & it contains lots of Texas legal information.
  5. I recommend this site. 


  6. Adult Adoptees | Texas Free Legal Forms, Law, Pro Bono ...

    texaslawhelp.org/resource/adult-adoptees?ref=3Q0Xa

    Adult Adoptees who were born in Texas can click on this link to the Texas Department of State Health Services to request a copy of their original birth certificate.
  7. Adoptees Meetups - Meetup
  8. adoptees.meetup.com/

    This group is open to all members of the adoption triad...adult adoptees, adoptive ... Welcome to the Texas Adoption Reunion and Support Group of Houston!
  9. STAR | Support Texas Adoptee Rights | Working to Restore ...

    www.texasadopteerights.org/

    We support legislation restoring to adult adoptees born in Texas, full access to their first medical record; their original, factual and unaltered certificates of birth.
  10. AAAFC A site by adoptees, for adoptees.

    www.adultadoptees.org/

    Feb 9, 2015 - Is this why it's often so hard for reunions to work for both sides with us caught in the middle even as adults? Because the arents are given first ...
  11. Adult Adoptees in Texas - Opening Adoption Records - Fran ...

    houstonmediator.blogspot.com/.../adult-adoptees-in-texas-opening.html

    Sep 2, 2013 - Adult Adoptees in Texas - Opening Adoption Records. Update January, 2015: A couple of people have emailed me that the suggestions I made ...
  12. Adoption group supports bill to access original birth certificates

    kxan.com/.../adoption-group-pushing-for-access-to-original-...

    KXAN‑TV
    Jan 19, 2015 - He is part of the nonprofit Adoption Knowledge Affiliates, which supportsadult adoptees from Texas to be able to easily get their hands on ...
  13. Adoptee Rights | Facebook

    https://www.facebook.com/AdopteeRightsCoalition
    Support Texas Adoptee Rights STAR is heading to the capitol today for .... 352, which if passed would give adult adoptees from Indiana's “closed records” period ...
  14. Forum | AAAFC

    adultadoptees.org/index.html/?page_id=23

    Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change is an adoptee-centered support forum. This forum was created by adoptees, and is owned, administered and moderated ...
  15. Forum - AAAFC

    www.adultadoptees.org/forum/

    Adult Adoptees.Org is an adoptee-centric support forum. We strive to meet the needs of the adoptee first with support, understanding, friendship and more than a ...
  16. AAAFC A site by adoptees, for adoptees.

    www.adultadoptees.org/

    Feb 9, 2015 - Once we are adults, it seems so wrong to still have to carry the original ..... to join the forum so that she could hopefully help her adopted son to ...
  17. Adult Adoptees - Adoption.com Forums

    forums.adoption.com/adult-adoptees/

    Adult Adoptees - Find support and encouragement for issues concerning adult adoptees.
  18. Adoptee Support - Adoption.com Forums

    forums.adoption.com/adoptee-support/
    ... Needs & Attachment Forums · Search & Reunion Forums · Adult Adoptees Forums· Birth Parents Forums ... Threads in Forum : Adoptee Support, Forum Tools ...
  19. Adoption family tree search. Adopted? Find birth parents.

    adoption.com/adoptee

    I'm an adoptee searching for a birth family member. ... FORUMS ... I am an adult adoptee, aged 55, who found my birth family 5 years ago, unfortunately too late ...
  20. POSITIVE Adult Adoptee Support (birth, options, parents, stories ...

    www.city-data.com › ... › General Forums › Parenting › Adoption
    Oct 6, 2012 - 10 posts - ‎8 authors
    Any adult adoptees who feel their lives have been positively influenced by adoption please post your stories here. Adoption can be a Blessing.
  21. I Was Adopted | Group with Personal Stories, Forums and ...

    www.experienceproject.com/groups/Was-Adopted/173

    Were You Adopted? Join 3403 friendly people sharing 736 true stories in the I WasAdopted group. Find forums, advice and chat with groups who share this life ...
  22. [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum: When an adoptee says: I'm not ...

    www.firstmotherforum.com/.../when-adoptee-says-im-not-interested-in.h...

    Feb 26, 2014 - As late as 1960, some forty percent of the states still had laws on the books recognizing "an unrestricted right of adult adoptees to inspect their ...
  23. AAAFC A site by adoptees, for adoptees.

    www.adultadoptees.org/

    Feb 9, 2015 - Once we are adults, it seems so wrong to still have to carry the original lie around if .... The first hit on a Google search for adoptee support is often ... how lucky and grateful they were, like it was part of the culture of the group.
  24. Adult Adoptees Resources - Band Back Together

    www.bandbacktogether.com/adult-adoptees-resources/

    Joining Support Groups - local, national and international support groups exist foradult adoptees everywhere. These support groups are a wonderful place to ...
  25. Adult Adoptees « Center for Adoption Support and Education

    adoptionsupport.or...

    Center for Adoption Support and Education C.A.S.E.
    Adult Adoptees. In the adoption community, we say “Adoption is a lifelong journey.” Being adopted can have a significant impact on a person's life at any age.
  26. 10 Things Adoptees Want You to Know | Lesli Johnson

    www.huffingtonpost.com/.../adoption_b_2161590.h...

    The Huffington Post
    Jan 11, 2013 - Only eight states in the U.S. allow adult adoptees access to their ... can find connection through support groups, interaction with other adoptees ...
  27. Services-Adoption-Post Adoption - Catholic Charities of the ...

    https://www.catholiccharities.org/services/services-adoption-post-adoption

    Adult Adoptee and Birthmother Search Services. Counseling. Birth parent support group. Search and Reunion Support Group. Adoption Day Camp (ages 6-12 ...
  28. Texas Adoption Reunion and Support of Houston ... - Meetup

    www.meetup.com/DFW-Adoption-Reunion-and-Support/.../204594072/

    Oct 11, 2014 - Welcome to the Texas Adoption Reunion and Support Group of Houston! We are a diverse group of adult adoptees, birthparents and adoptive ...
  29. Adoptees Meetups - Meetup

    adoptees.meetup.com/

    Welcome to the Texas Adoption Reunion and Support Group of Houston! We are a diverse group of adult adoptees, birthparents and adoptive parents who are ...
  30. [PDF]Support Groups - American Adoption Congress

    www.americanadoptioncongress.org/.../SUPPORT%20GROUP%20LIST...

    Apr 4, 2012 - Support Groups. 1. Last Updated on April 4, 2012. ALABAMA. Birth Parents/Adult Adoptees Group. Birmingham, AL. Audrey Derevenko, LCSW.












  31. Adoption Support Group: Young Adult Adoptees - Adoptive ...

    www.adoptivefamiliescircle.com › Groups

    Home > Groups > Young Adult Adoptees. National Adoption Directory. Find an Adoption Agency. By Country, U.S., Albania, Armenia, Austria, Azerbaijan ...

  32. This is an article from the website 
  33. www.texaslegalhelp.org
  34. look under "family" and click adoption link -- 
  35. Lots of info on this website including suggested forms!

  36. HOW TO REQUEST ADOPTION RECORDS IN TEXAS 

  37. In Texas, courts must seal adoption records. But sometimes, people can show good reasons why the records should be opened to them. Only the adopted child or an immediate relative to the adopted child can ask for access to the sealed records. The request, called an Application, should be filed with the District Clerk in the county where the adoption took place. You must sign the Application in front of a notary. Because the release of adoption information has long been considered a highly emotional issue, the Court may require you to undergo counseling before the records are released to you. Depending on circumstances in your case, the Court may order that the records be released to an Adoption Intermediary, who can pursue contact with other parties on your behalf. If the Court orders that an Intermediary be appointed in your case, you will be responsible for the Intermediary’s fees The judge will usually honor your request to have a specific counselor or intermediary appointed. It is a good idea to have discussed fees with a counselor or intermediary, and have one in mind before you go to see the judge. You will also be responsible for any fees associated with copying the sealed records in your case. When you complete your Application, be as specific as you can be in explaining why you need access to the sealed records. After you complete the Application and Order, make a copy for your records. File the original in the county where the adoption took place. Ask the clerk how to set a hearing for your Application. In some counties, you may be able to see a judge the same day you file your Application. This is not possible in all counties. When your case is called before the judge, walk up to the judge’s bench. Stand close enough for the judge to hear you. Remember not to lean against the judge’s bench. The judge will swear you in, asking you to tell the truth, and then ask you some questions about your situation. Be prepared to answer the judge in a courteous, honest, and respectful manner. After the judge has heard your testimony and reviewed your case, s/he will make a decision about whether or not you can have access to the information you requested. If the judge grants your request, and allows the information to be released directly to you, ask the District Clerk to make a certified copy of the order you have requested, along with a certified copy of the Order Regarding Access to Termination and Adoption Records. If the judge allows you to have access through an Intermediary, you will have to contact the Intermediary. You should ask the District Clerk to make a certified copy of the Order Regarding Access to Termination and Adoption Records to give to the Intermediary. You might want to make a copy for yourself, as well. The Clerk’s office usually charges a fee for certified copies. 

  38. Keep in mind, the judge might tell you s/he can’t give you access to the records. The judge has sole discretion to decide whether or not you are entitled access to the records. 





Some Mediation Tips


In the State of Texas, most judges require mediation before proceeding to trial.

A well known secret in the legal community is that (1) most cases settle at or before mediation and (2) less than 5% of all lawsuits actually go to trial.

Mediation can and should be highly effective if the leg work is done. 

Here are a few pointers to keep in mind:
  • Choose your mediator carefully: it appears that almost every attorney or paralegal nowadays can take a class or a seminar and become a "certified" mediator.  Being "certified" means that you have taken the basic 40 hour class.  Mediation is a skill and the seasoned mediator understands the case, knows the jurisdiction and the law, and more importantly knows how the judge thinks.  This person is usually a practicing attorney or former judge who will exhibit a solid grasp of all issues and guide you toward a successful resolution of your case. 
  • Cost is an important factor -- but should not be the driving force behind your choice.
  • Be fully prepared as if you were going to trial. This is important because it gives the opposing side an opportunity to see the type of attorney you are and may facilitate a resolution. This is also important because it makes the mediator's job a lot easier since all documents needed for court are available for review and evaluation.
  • Come with an open mind: mediation is a give and take process. In fact, there is a saying that "if both parties are unhappy at the end of a mediation, that's a sign that the mediation was a success."
  • Focus on what's important: although the goal at trial is to win, mediation's goal is resolution. Use the mediator's skills to think outside the box and find unique solutions to complex problems.
  • Be patient: mediation takes time and you may be sitting in a room for extended periods of time while the mediator works with the other side. Most mediations last from 4 hours to 10 hours. Mediation is a magical process but it often takes some time for the "magic" to occur. Be patient.
  • Respect: show respect to all parties including the mediator, your opponent and the attorneys working the case. Any party that feels disrespected is less inclined to consent and work on a mutually agreeable solution.
  • Lastly, unlike in court, you are in control at mediation to craft a unique solution to your legal issues. Take full advantage of it .

Monday, May 4, 2015

Texas Parenting Class

Parenting Classes for Harris & Galveston County Family Law cases:

(All information is subject to change without notice - these are accurate as of January, 2015)

8 hour course

Children 4 Tomorrow
www.childeren4tomorrow.org
facebook: children4tomorrow
twitter: child4tomorrow

Online Seminars

"Parenting Choice" $39.99. You can print out your own certificate. 
www.parentingchoice.com

"Positive Parenting Through Divorce" $60.00. Will mail certificate. www.positiveparentingthroughdivorce.com

"Parenting Partnerships" $65.00. You can print out your own certificate. www.parentingpartnerships.com

"Online Parenting Class" $34.99. You can print out your own certificate. www.TexasParentClass.com

"Family Affairs" $38.00. You can print out your own certificate. 
www.familyaffairs.org

"Putting Kids First" $60.00 online or $70.00 by mail. Will mail certificate. www.puttingkidsfirst.org

"Texas Cooperative Parenting Course" $31.46 if you subscribe (Otherwise, $34.95). www.txparent.com You can print your own certificate. English or Español

"Online Parenting Programs" $49.99 (Discounted program available for low income households) www.onlineparentingprograms.com You Can print your own certificate.

"Parent Class Online" $29.99. Will e-mail or mail your certificate. English or Español www.parentclassonline.com

Galveston County

“For Kids Sake Seminar” For Kids Sake $40-$50.00 fee. Offered several times a month in Galveston and Texas City. Parents need to register at least 48 hours in advance of the class. You can obtain a class schedule and registration form from the Galveston County Law Library, Galveston County Justice Center, or by calling (409) 765- 2601. Offers weekend programs.

Harris County

“Escape” Given at different locations in Houston. Call (713) 942-9500 for information on times, locations and registration. 
www.learntoparent.org
No or very low cost. Offers some night and weekend programs.

“Stop the Conflict” Four-hour workshop that offers classes the first and third Tuesday of every month from 6:00 p.m.-10:00 p.m. at the La Quinta Inn Hotel on Highway 59 and Westlyn. Registration can be done online at www.divorceasfriends.com or mailed in to: Stop the Conflict, P.O. Box 541813, Houston, Texas, 77254. For more information, call (713) 520-5370. 
Registration fee is $50.00.

"Children in the Middle" A parent education program that helps parents become aware of how they may be placing their children in the middle of their conflicts during and after the divorce. Parents are taught new skills to help them through this difficult transition. Classes take place at United Methodist Church. 
www.kdkseminars.com
Registration fee is $45.00.

"Helping Children Cope with Divorce" a four-hour course that offers parents guidance on how to manage the divorce process and minimize its potentially negative impact on children. The course examines how divorce affects the entire family and provides tips on navigating difficult parenting situations. 
www.depelchin.org/divorce-classes/ 
Registration fee is $65.00.

"Ayudando a los Niños a Superar un Divorcio" Ayudando a los niños a superar un divorcio es un curso de cuatro horas provee estrategias para manejar el proceso del divorcio y minimizar el impacto negativo que pueda tener en los niños. 
www.depelchin.org/es/educacin-para-padres

"Co-Parenting & Divorce" Offered Tuesday evenings at 4:00 or 8:00. Teaches parents the needed skills to get through this difficult transition, and how to avoid putting children in the middle of their own conflicts. The course qualifies as court-mandated divorcing parent education and is endorsed by the National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges. It is a Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) model program. 
Registration fee is $40.00. 
www.familyservices.org

"Parenting Partnerships" Parenting Partnerships offers a variety of family life education programs – individually and class or workshop formats. Our classes include a marriage preparation course and parenting classes created to address the changing needs of families. We offer topic-specific workshops and training seminars. 
Registration for the in-person class is $45. 
The online class is $65. 
www.parentingpartnerships.com

"FamilyTime Crisis and Counseling Center" FamilyTime offers parenting and anger management classes. These classes are for the general public and for those required by the court or CPS to take the courses. The classes range from 4- 8 weeks. www.familytimeccc.org
(Divorce class $35.00; General parenting class $50.00) 

The best Texas family law FREE booklets that I know of right now

The Texas Young Lawyers wrote a wonderful free booklet.
I would look on their excellent website for information.

The booklet I like is "Pro Se Divorce Handbook"
I believe it was written in 2010 and Texas family law has been modified by the Texas Legislature since 2010 but it's still a pretty darn book FREE booklet

Another of their booklets is What to Expect in Texas Family Law Court which was initially written in 2004-05.  Again, Texas laws are modified every 2 years by the Texas Legislature but it is also a good book.

Their abbreviation is TYLA.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

LEGAL SERVICES FOR LOW-INCOME TEXANS

This is a list I just picked up from one of the family court display racks. 

I don't know how accurate it is.

You can also look on the State Bar of Texas' website for pro bono (free) legal services around the State of Texas.

Many of these non-profits are supported by grants so the list is subject to change without notice.

Lone Star Legal Aid
www.lonestarlegal.org
800-733-8394

Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse (AVDA)
www.avda-tx.org
713-224-9911

Provides free legal representation to domestic violence victims

Boat People SOS, Inc.
www.bpsos.org
281-530-6888

Provides legal assistance for low-income Vietnamese in family law & immigration law

Family Violence Center - NW Assistance Ministries
www.namonline.org
888-750-4673

Provides legal advocacy for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Houston Volunteer Lawyers
www.hvlp.org
713-228-0732

South Texas College of Law
Legal Clinic
www.stcl.edu/clinics/index.html
713-652-0009

Offers limited legal assistance including family law, guardianship ajnd mediation through the school's mediation department.

University of Houston Clinical Programs
www.law.uh.edu/clinics/civil.html
713-743-2094

Refer to website - offers limited legal assistance such as civil, immigration and consumer law.

Advocate Legal Senior Center
713-527-4029

Provides legal services on a pro bono or sliding scale basis to senior citizens.

Bay Area Turning Point
www.bayareaturningpoint.org
281-338-7600

Provides legal advocacy for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Referrals to free and sliding scale legal assistance.

The Bridge Over Trouble Waters
www.thebridgeovertroubledwaters.org
713-472-0753

Provides legal advocacy and support services for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault and the homeless.

Houston Area Women's Center
www.hawc.org
713-528-6798

Provides legal advocacy for domestic violence survivors and sexual assault. Referrals to free and sliding fee scale legal assistance. 

New Horizon Family Center
www.newhorizonfamilycenter.com
281-422-2292

Provides legal advocacy for survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. Referrals to free and sliding scale legal assistance.

Thurgood Marshall School of Law Legal Clinics
www.tsulaw.edu/clinic/index.html
713-313-7275

Offers limited assistance including criminal misdemeanors for Harris County only, simple divorces and immigration matters. 

The Victim Assistance Centre, Inc.
www.victimassistancecentre.com
713-7555625

Provides legal advocacy for domestic violence survivors and sexual assault. Referrals to free and sliding fee scale legal assistance. 






Friday, May 1, 2015

Facebook is being used in NY to "serve" people notice of lawsuits.

It's not being used in Texas yet but here is an interesting article on what's happening in New York.

I am often appointed to find "missing spouses or parents:.  I always do a Facebook search.  I find many people on Facebook and other social media sites.  I also used "paid" searches not available to the general public. 

I recently completed an all day skip-tracing class. It was very informative. It's kind of scary how much information is available to bail bondsmen, repo people and private investigators on the internet. It is very hard to hide these days.

There are books written on how to "disappear". All the people that try to find missing people have read the books and, in fact, there are books written and classes taught on how to find people that are trying to "hide"!

It's almost impossible these days to "be off the grid". You are warned!


New York -
Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Matthew Cooper said that the nurse (wife) can serve her elusive husband with divorce papers through a social networking site ‘Facebook’ via message. The court has taken this unusual step for the reasons that husband has been otherwise unresponsive to all other ways of communication with his wife. It is reported that the couple hails from Ghana and were married in 2009. The relationship soured after the husband broke his promise to hold a traditional Ghanaian ceremony.

Plaintiff attorney Andrew Spinnell has stated that they have tried all possible ways to contact plaintiff’s husband including hiring of a private detective as well but nothing worked out. Further, as per court filings, Husband has only been in contact with his wife on the phone and on Facebook. On one occasion, the Husband  has spoken to defendant over telephone informing her that he has no fixed address and no place of employment.

While allowing serving divorce papers through Facebook messages, Justice Cooper observed that “[The] post office has no forwarding address for him, there is no billing address linked to his prepaid cell phone, and the Department of Motor Vehicles has no record of him.” Consequently, the ruling reads that the transmittal of divorce papers shall be repeated by plaintiff’s attorney to defendant once a week for three consecutive weeks or until acknowledged and that this will be done by the attorney for Husband through Husband’s Facebook account.


Another case, It seems serving documents through social networking sites is getting more popular these days. In another incident, a New York City Family Court ruled in September 2014 that a man could serve his wife with notice pursuant to child support.